(Black) Women; I love y'all but this "Selective Independence" needs to stop.

Okay the conversation was about wedding rings (No there are no bells ringing over here). So we were talking about "How much a man is supposed to spend on a wedding ring" and I have this rule that I would like for myself. its this:

How ever many carats you want your wedding ring to have, I want the same amount on mine.

Supposedly I'm wrong for that because "guys only should get a wedding band" and "Guys don't show off their wedding rings". Sorry, but I like rings and diamonds too. I don't understand why a guy can't have a nice wedding ring (which would stick out like a sore thumb to other women) when he is expected to spend a substantial amount of money on both an engagement ring and a wedding ring.

Weddings are not only your day ladies. Its our day too. At the very least in a financial aspect!

I have an issue with that. I don't understand why in 2011, when women are "independent" they can't spend 2 months of pay on their man's wedding ring the way he is supposed to do it for her. Using the reason "Becomes I'm a woman" (reason I was given last night) is bull shit.
Women, esp Black women: I love y'all, but this "Selective Independence" needs to quit. All of y'all can't be singing songs like Destiny's Child's "Independent Women" and follow it up with "Bills, Bill, Bills". The same goes with other aspects of relationships. Pick a damn side. Please?!

Is it just me, or does it seem that many if not most women want everything to be equal only when it benefits them?